Funny Shit Kids Say

This will be a running list of things I’ve heard at work or that kids have written down for me. No names, of course. I’ll update this post whenever I get a good one and eventually find a more intelligent place to keep it.

  • From a 13 year old girl, when asked if she would change anything about her family: “I’d like a little black brother.”
  • From a four year old girl, with vaginal itching: “Mommy, my hee-haw has an owie.”
  • From a 16 year old girl, asked on a form to write down what languages are spoken in her home: “English and Gibberish”.
  • From an 11 year old girl, one of her three wishes: “To be Japanese”.
  • From a 12 year old boy, asked to write out his three wishes: “To be God, Master of Everything, and Lord of Time and Space”. Need to keep an eye on THAT one.

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